Archives: A Winless Battle

I want to take all back
I want to start it all over
Please cut me some slack
Letting love take over
I can't think straight
The night's getting late
Sooner or later..
But later's much too late.
Wondering when our sun will come up to start our new day
Wondering if a son will come up
Like we always would conversate
But as usual I fucked it up
Like always, I'm doing to much
All that I can give at the moment
Is never enough
It hurts... Like being pierced
Through the chest with a pole
I could hear your tears falling
Almost threw my phone
I don't know why things haven't
Been going our way, but ur not alone
It hurts me too, I cry too, sometimes
I feel like dying boo, so if you did too
We could spend our lives together
Up above the weather
Never worrying ever whether or not
Who loves who better cuz we'd finally
Be together. That's all I ever wanted
For you to have that title
"I'm just using these chicks to prepare for you" but now I can't end the cycle
I can't undo easily what's already been done
I just seem to be fighting to be with you in a battle that can't be won...

Guess We Can't Be Friends...

I Hate This
This feeling that I can't shake, It's
Defeat in its most repulsive form yet
This Defeat was long overdue, debt
Bet if I had dropped the world for you
In a timely fashion, and showed my love for you
I wouldn't be feeling this pain of a thousand swords
Piercing my soul one-by-one to the core
All this time you have loved me so,
with a passion unlike one I've ever known
and now that I'm ready
Mind right, lifestyle going steady
You take it all back, like I re-nigged in spades
Now I'm the only one playing charades
Posing as the good friend
who was there before the rain
and still there when the sun rose again
But I can't show my love.
And like the taste of a cloud, the world won't know my love
No matter how hard I hide them and shun them
The feelings won't go, my love
If for once I could grow my love
I bury my emotions, but your voice melts my heart
sending it dripping down to their grave causing it to start
growing and evolving so that by the second word you've uttered
I'm ready to marry you all over again
And the routine goes on and on, over and over again...
And Today, like all the other days, I'm putting it to an end...
All so it can Begin Again... Guess we can't be friends...

Dream Seller

Instead of Dime bags for 20bucks

Instead of Bean Pies in my fresh Tux

Instead of Hot n Ready’s from lil C’s

I, of all things, sell dreams

Not Dreams that you sleep on

Or Dreams as in goals you can bank on

Or those blank stare moments your boredom feeds on

But, in the end, I sell Dreams

The Dreams I sell are Dreams of Love

That Endless Love

That Love that India.Arie was ready for type Love

Dreams that make you think I was your Knigh

tIn shining armor, riding through the night

On my valiant steed to climb up weeds

And sit upon your window sill to serenade you

Until you’re sleep for me to tuck you in and leave

But being the me that bleeds, i.e. the Real Me

Your emotions are on what I feed

Bored of commitment I go off

In search of hearts to feed off

Yet I don’t cheat

And each relationship is a planned repeat

Always made to end like a travesty

But I knew all along, you wouldn’t last

Just another love song, lost in the shuffle…

Journey of Dreams

On the road again, wouldn't you know it?
I'm going through things, yet don't even show it
Write out my feelings, emotional poet
Yet the pen hits paper, and I can't even slow it
Up, You become the topic
I smile, Stop it
Oddly enough, I'm always doing this stuff
Thinking of you when times get rough
Wishing our hearts would Harmonize but...
Unfortunately, I don't see you enough
But that's alright, something you didn't know
I never go to sleep alone
Well... Physically Yes, but mentally/emotionally No.
I dream of things that only hopeless romantics would show
And by show, I mean Display
like us counting clouds as we lay
Me on the Grass and you on my Chest
Playfully joking on who's kisses are the best
Sometimes we walk on the beach for a midnight stroll
or even share a "Love It" bowl at Cold Stone
Then I wake up, as the Sun frequently forces me to
And I continue my journey, wishing I could share it with you...

Feelings

I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, but if I was...
I would tell you about how I wish I was your favorite hoodie
So that every time you were cold, I could hold you close and keep you warm
but I'm not good at expressing my feelings...
I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, but if I was...
I would tell you how much I wish I was your favorite song
So that every time you heard me on the radio, you'd close your eyes, bite your lip
move those lips slow with that "This my Jam" face and hope I was on repeat...
but I'm not good at expressing my feelings...
I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, but if I was...
I would tell you that I wanted to be your favorite food
so that you would crave my taste, and once I fulfilled your every need
You would have a satisfied feeling in your core, get the "itis" and fall right asleep
but I'm not good at it tho...
What we have reminds me of learning to ride a bike
The first days we were a little shaky, trying to get used to it all
Once the going was good, we were rolling
then we hit a bump in the road and we crashed down hard...
Skinned our knee and winced in pain like Peter Griffin
Now we show our true colors
Will we stick together and give it another shot
or will we bicker and argue with each other?
With you I always felt a sense of care that no matter what I did
whether endangering my life driving too fast while the rain's amidst
or anything else that would bring me uncomfortably close to death's grip
You would still be there waiting with a warm hug and a Kiss
And In the blink of an eye, maybe the snap of a finger
I found away to dismantle us and no more would you linger
No calls, no texts, not even a mentioned tweet
Hopefully I didn't earn a distasteful subtweet, bittersweet
I try to sleep, but its hard when I can't hear from you first
I hate how our relationship took a turn for the worse
Wondering "Can We Fix It?" like Bob the Builder
But I can't do it by myself, wont you reconsider?

Sitting In My Chair...

As I sit and reflect in a lazyboy on my past, careless lifestyle
breezing through baby chickens but never using lifestyles
Trust, I wrapped up, top hat on my planters
but in the mist of my thoughts I was distracted by a bystander
And by My standards she had Surely surpassed her
peers yet I couldn't find the energy to stand up
Closed my eyes tight to attempt at mustering it
when I thought I opened them, she stood before me lusting this
very author whose story you're intrigued by
Please believe, I was intrigued too, lil Momma was TOO fly
Slowly stooping to my level, placing her knees outside my thighs
so she could balance on the chair while I caressed her behind
In due time, our minds were entwined
yet only through a kiss, her sweet soft lips
as my hands moved up and down her frame as if she was a bowl
on my pottery wheel and I was molding her soul
Losing control of our clothes until a breeze hit me cold
And a crashing noise came from the front door she closed
I finally opened eyes and noticed she wasn't there anymore
and I was still in my chair,lonely, lusting for more...

Without...

With all the money in the world, I could give you anything
And with all that money, you could Be anything
But all the fame and gifts wouldn't mean anything
Without the love of the one person who means Everything
You wouldn't smile at your Million dollar wedding ring
Or experience the love that each new day would bring
Or be satisfied with finally living out your dreams
Without sharing that joy with someone who is your Everything
What's a car when it has no Motor?
What's a bike without a chain?
 How do you retrieve a puppy from traffic
When its deaf to any audible name?
If I had it to give, the world would be yours to claim
No use in giving YOU my heart, if I know you wont love ME just the same...